Wil on the Road to Recovery

Last week I found myself laying on the couch with a pity party (again!), trying not to let bitter roots take hold. It doesn’t matter how much I plan, life takes uncontrollable turns. And I felt sorry for myself.

My Bible reading that night (“happened”) to cover the story of Moses and the bitter water they called “marah“ (Exodus 15:23). That reminded me of Naomi (Ruth’s mother-in-law), when she said, “Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara [bitter], for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me” (Ruth 1:20)*. I related to Naomi, and saw this stream of bitter water in my soul.

This past month or so has been a difficult, whirlwind journey. My husband, Wil, (his picture above) woke on July 29 with pain in his back, so severe he couldn’t walk. He had an almost 104 degree temperature. After a day or so in ICU, they determined he had a blood infection that had settled into his lower back, where he already had osteoarthritis. (They never could figure out how the bacteria got into his body.)

They treated Wil with antibiotics, but a day or so later, a fiery pain circled through his lower body. After a time of writhing agony, he lost much of the feeling and motion in his legs, feet and torso, because the swelling from the infection had pinched some nerves. A surgeon cleaned out the area of his spine and relieved pressure on the nerves, but muscle weakness sets in quickly and nerves heal slowly. So, after a month in rehab, Wil is home and has gained strength, and some feeling and motion has returned to his legs and feet. He’s still in a wheelchair, and learning to walk again with physical therapy. We praise God for his progress and continue to pray for full recovery. The Lord has met every need, and the body of Christ has enveloped us with down-home love, support and prayers that bring supernatural peace.

I know Naomi’s situation was far worse than mine, but I related to her, and I felt the ugly root of bitterness trying to butt in. When I’m on the other side of the pity party, it seems as if it were only a bad dream. But when that dark cloud hovers over the emotions and I lose sight of God’s eternal perspective, it’s hard to break out, and the lies seem so threatening.

I love my husband deeply, have cried over his pain, and am honored to support him wholly in his healing and meeting his needs. I don’t know why I sometimes selfishly take my frustration out on him.?I know God has given vision for my life, and He is faithful—infallibly faithful—to bring it to pass. But right now that vision seems buried in the seemingly endless list of appointments, meds, care, and things to do.

Back to Naomi and Moses and the bitter water.

The Holy Spirit helped me to the ?to understand Moses’ bitter water as a picture of my fearful attitude. What did Moses do? He “cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a tree. When he cast it into the waters, the waters were made sweet.”

Our Lord is the God who makes bitter water sweet.

So I cry out to the Lord, and picture His sweet tree of truth that steeps in the water of my fear. The Lord’s tender, forgiving, healing, life-giving Presence envelopes me and transforms anything bitter into trust. I’m learning dependence on the Lord, that caring for Wil is His vision for my life right now. He will, and has given us everything we need for the journey. It’s all about Jesus, and His wooing and preparing us as His bride to rule with Him in His kingdom. I let go of my nearsighted plans and embrace the present moment of what Christ has for us. Trust the Father for the future, and His strategy to conform our character to His own, so we have the strength to handle well what He’s planned for us.

Lord, whenever the bitter waters of fear threaten, I open my heart to the tree of Your Presence, Your love and truth turning every bitter thing into sweet trust. I let go of my plans, and embrace all that You have for me.

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Feel free to comment below if you have ever related to Naomi’s bitterness, and how the Lord met you in that place with His sweetness…

*Scripture quotes come from NKJV.

Scripture for Meditation:
Exodus 15:22-26; 2 Timothy 2:11-12; Hebrews 12:14-15